Monday, March 3, 2008

PASSING ON VALUES

Dear Fathers,
I like Chinese New Year (CNY) for the great memories I have from childhood. The deluge of fire-crackers; lion dances; ang-pows; new clothes; and of course, food - especially the family reunion dinner.

The heart of CNY nevertheless is the family. This annual event can be seen to be like the rings in a tree. We can actually see the state of family relationships by observing how the traditions are practised (or not!). During this festive season, we are teaching our children significantly what it means to be family.

Parents speak loudest to the children in the way they relate at CNY to their elders, cousins, distant relatives etc. They learn to participate in family feuds too – “That so-and-so auntie, who does she think she is?”. Children also learn to value the home as they participate in spring-cleaning. If the maid does all the cleaning on this occasion, then children learn deeply that being family is more about being house proud rather than being part of creating the home.

Essentially, I am surfacing the fact that parents constantly pass on values to their children through the way they live, and more so, through the family traditions that are observed. What we believe and profess about being family, can either be cancelled or confirmed by what we practice and how we observe traditions.

Beyond the bed-time storytelling and the one-on-one talk, parents are constructing their children’s socio-emotional compass through their attitudes and actions every moment of the day. Know this and use this.

No comments: