FATHERING IS A SKILL

First of all, ‘fathering’ is a skill and not just a role. Consequently, fathering is the counterpart of mothering, sort of like our right and left hands. Children should have access to wholistic parenting, much like the use of two hands. A child’s self-image is reflective of the two-parent integrated relationship. “Good” fathering then begins with being present and accessible. As a popular saying goes, “Half the victory is won by showing up”.

Second, it follows then that “good” is not a moral judgement. Rather, a more accurate term would be, I propose, “competent”. Competency, unlike ‘good’, is skill-based, focusing on behaviour and ability. It is concrete, observable, measurable and transferable.
I think what Centre for Fathering is seeking to promote is the “Competent Father”. We do not seek to judge who is a “good father” by putting a person against some scale. Rather we are trying to benchmark a profile of best fathering practices across culture and communities. We want to support fathers to parent effectively with the best fathering practices available to us.
Finally competent fathering is important because though we cannot guarantee what our children may become when they grow up, we are morally bound to give them the best nurture for their formative years. This is the consideration from where all good fathering begins.