EMOTIONAL CONNECTION

The key to bonding with your child is emotional connection. This is done through empathetic listening which is listening to give an accurate feedback on how the child feels. Successful empathy is achieved when the child expresses that s/he feels understood.
I like to watch my children at play with other kids because I can quietly study their inner world. Over the years these 4 ‘P’s have helped me connect with them through their inner world. You may wish to try them:
1. Participation – Observe how participative your child is to the activities and environment at camp. You are witnessing his/her curiosity and creativity at work. Compliment these as you note them. As Parents you are also modelling these qualities. So set the tempo and example during the camp. (Switch off your hand-phones and use them only at meal breaks if necessary.)
2. Performance – Observe how much effort your child puts in to overcome the obstacles. Sustainable success is a process where achievements are built one step at a time. Instant success is sheer luck, very unpredictable and therefore unsustainable. Teach your child not to gamble on his/her future but to build it. So help your child to set his/her personal goal for each obstacle and then debrief for self-improvement. (You are teaching your child to manage his own motivation and pace of growth).
3. Pressure – Observe how your child manages the “push” factor in life as he/she tries to cope with the pressure to succeed and not be a failure or loser especially in front of you. Under such circumstances, parents are cheerleaders and should not be jeer-leaders. Listen through the frustration or silence to hear the inner struggle of a child faced with a high rope obstacle, and then speak the word of encouragement. That is when you become inspirational. (You are teaching your child that fear, anxiety, do not kill. Fear of the fear does.)
4. Peers - Team work is both collaborative and competitive. It is important to reign in the latter in order to build networks of friends as we climb up the ladder of life. The object is to move from competing and comparing with others, to self-improvement. (You are raising your child’s social intelligence).